Strategies For Managing Support From Others In the Workplace

Most of us appreciate working in a supportive, collaborative environment where colleagues offer to lend a hand, are willing to work late to help you meet an important deadline, and just make you feel supported.  These gestures can help foster better relationships with our coworkers, increase morale, and by sharing the workload, lower our stress level and potential for burnout.  But what about those times when you want to tackle work with a level of autonomy and independence?  Maybe you are looking forward to the challenge and want to see what you are capable of doing.  These are often the work assignments that build our confidence and self-esteem. It can feel extremely rewarding to look at something you were able to do all by yourself – and say, “I did it!”  So, how do we lean into the opportunity to take on a new project or complete a task with a level of independence and autonomy when a colleague offers their assistance?  Graciously!  It is important to express our gratitude and appreciation, while conveying our desire to exercise our talents and abilities in that moment in a manner that is authentic, preserves the relationship, and leaves space for our colleague to want to help again in the future.  How we handle the need to spread our wings and fly solo is key to maintaining positive working relationships.  Below are a few strategies that can allow you to soar in the moment and fly with the flock later: 

·         Express gratitude and sincere appreciation for the offer.  Let the person know you value their offer and desire to help, and how this makes you feel seen and supported.  Ask if you can take them up on their offer after you see what you can manage or tackle on your own first.

·         Avoid using the word “no,” and inform the individual that you would like to broaden your knowledge or skillset, and this is a great opportunity for you to develop in this area. 

·         If boundaries need to be established, acknowledge the kind gesture, remain polite and professional. Keep the conversation brief and let the individual know things are going well and you are in good shape. You can close with  “I would definitely appreciate circling back to you if anything changes.” Remember, we all need help at times, so leaving the door open to assistance in the future is important for maintaining positive working relationships.

·         Assume positive intentions and avoid being territorial. While each person may have accountability and ownership for completing certain tasks at work, there is shared responsibility for achieving organizational goals and objectives.  Inclusion and collaboration are important for individual and organizational success.

·         Take proactive steps to develop relationships with others.  When we take the time to get to know our team members, exercise curiosity, and build relationships, we build trust.  Trust is what makes us feel that the other person genuinely cares about our success and well-being and not operating from a self-serving place of interest or hidden agenda.  When trust is established, we feel emotionally safe to communicate our boundaries and advocate for our needs.  

There are times when as much as we want to do things on our own, accepting assistance is a better strategy.  Here are a few examples :

·         When the task is complex and working with someone more knowledgeable will allow you to learn and develop your skills.

·         The stakes are high and the risks outweigh the rewards of working autonomously.

·         Critical deadlines need to be met, tasks need to be completed timely and efficiently, and workload capacity is an issue.

As we grow professionally, the goal should be to work smarter, not harder and longer. Evaluating how our skills and expertise relate to a task can help us determine if the time is right to exercise autonomy or graciously accept assistance.